Welcome, Guest
Username: Password: Secret Key Remember me
  • Page:
  • 1

TOPIC:

Correcting children 7 years 2 months ago #1867

  • Anonymous
  • Anonymous's Avatar Topic Author
  • Visitor
  • Visitor
When the child makes mistakes, it is our responsibility to correct. But, it is not that we are going to change them. So, we need to witness the situation and do the right action at that moment.

For example, To correct my daughter, She listens only when I shout, instead if I say things lovingly, that doesn't work. So, I act like shouting but in that process, I get actually agitated. But if I don't correct her, that thought keeps coming and she will become even worser. If we just let go things, It is also like we are not bothered about the other person's or the child's welfare?
Please let me know the right way to correct the child? Thanks.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Correcting children 7 years 2 months ago #1868

In my experience I see a difference between CHANGING and CORRECTING.

For example if there is a river we can CORRECT the flow path so that it doesn't interfere the living area. But if we try to CHANGE it's nature of flowing by blocking, then it is going to create a huge surge.

Building a dam is CHANGING the nature of the river (Flowing). Here there is a huge risk of water surge if there is a problem with dam's structure. Instead building a channel is correcting. The channel in contrary reduces the surge of the river and can be utilized for human welfare.

Like this a child's nature is unique from parents because they are also an individual. So as a parent we need to focus on creating the path for them to live instead of changing their nature. This is called witnessing.

But due to thamasic qualities many parents don't want to create path, they always tend to change as per their need. Because building dam is just for the width of the river, so it is easy, but constructing a channel is for the length of the river which is more time consuming and needs more work. Obviously length is longer than width of the river.

At the end if we observe closely the child changes the parent's life in making them involved in channelizing the child's nature to the use of the society.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Correcting children 7 years 2 months ago #1869

  • Uni5
  • Uni5's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Administrator
  • Administrator
  • Posts: 495
  • Thank you received: 14
But due to thamasic (lethargic) qualities many parents don't want to create path, they always tend to change as per their need.

Muthu has nailed the problem of the modern parents. This is the key difference in Modern parents vs "old-generation" parents, where the old-generation parents revolved the life around the child's needs and growth. Now it is the other way around. Modern parents make the child to live adjusting to the work needs of the parents. The parents justify that the extra income is for the comfort and material needs of the child.

What a child needs is ignored by many parents. When a child grows prematurely, it results in behavioural issues later in life.

Please let me know the right way to correct the child?

Shouting is not the correct way. Definitely love is the only winner. But due to several pressure and stress of parents (work and peer), they are not able to handle it patiently. Nuclear families has to shoulder all the work force of the task of a bigger family.

First step. Watch the child and understand why the child is behaving like this. May be the child does not need want you think is good for the child at that moment. May be at a later moment the child might be willing to try. But this patience, many modern parents do not have. Parents wants right away the child to do what we think is right for them. Seldom does any parent self-reflect the point, does the parent (himself or herself) is doing the right things that elders are recommending them.

No, we want our children to follow what we think is best for them, but we parents dont follow what is prescribed by our forefathers that is good for us. This is " Selftual " parenting.

As a parent we have to think, what options, would we love to have from our elders for the behavior we are currently doing. That same options we should give to our child. That is correct parenting. In this process, a parent does sacrifice (love) for the child. From this love, arises a child's greatest potential and a cherished, successful life.

More details for parenting solutions .

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Last edit: by Uni5.

Correcting children 7 years 2 months ago #1870

@Muthu and Uni5
Thank you for your suggestions.
I truly agree that love is the only solution but may be I need to be still more patient to see the behavioral change in her.

For example, this child of 9 yr old, she hates to organize her bed, study table etc. If we say with love, please organize dear...Nope, she won't even bother our words. I gave her one whole day continuously to work on it reminding her to organize. But till evening she didn't do.
But instead when I saiid, Come on now, how many times do I repeat etc with little louder voice, immediately she responds.

Another issue is like, she keeps pressing the tubes of tooth pastes, creams or oil bottles etc in our absence and then applies that on walls or tables quietly hiding the area. Then, when we notice that only then we will know.

This too, I have many times kindly discussed with her how it is an act of wasting money indirectly, dirtying the place, additional work for mom to clean etc. But this behavior is continuing once in a while. I am just leaving it considering only when they are kids they will play such silly mischiefs.

Here, I want to make it clear that I want to correct the child and at the same time correct myself too, where am I making mistake and keep myself emotionally balanced too.
I will be wondering at times, am I parenting her correctly? Whether being kind is correct or have to be harsh at times with such kind of behaviors.Please suggest.

The articles on Parenting solutions and child needs are very good. I hope many parents would read it. From this article, I feel that first, the physical habits of the child has to be still modified to make her intellectually developed kid. Here also, we should not force her to eat healthy stuff when she tends towards the packed junk foods, right?

What I feel is, we should give the child more time to think and realize their mistake allowing them to do and enjoy what they like. But at the same time, once in a while, kindly talk and discuss with them lovingly about these issues. ( When I start advising, she comments, oh you started your lecture:))
Kindly advice. Thanks.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Correcting children 7 years 2 months ago #1871

  • Uni5
  • Uni5's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Administrator
  • Administrator
  • Posts: 495
  • Thank you received: 14
she hates to organize her bed, study table This is why in Uni5 schools, we dont start teaching children with alphabets and numbers. We start children find their own inner organization. a child needs inner discipline more than numbers and alphabets and rhymes. What a child does not get in five years will not come later (ainthil valayathu aimbathil valayathu).

she keeps pressing the tubes of tooth pastes, creams or oil bottles
we modern parents dont give enough hand activities to children when they are young. So they do all this hand activities later. Again in Uni5 schools we give maximum hand activities that they become self satisfied and are simultaneously ready to focus on higher learning. When a parent or school focuses academics first, children grow underdeveloped with these skills.

Freedom of play: older generation parents allowed children to play in mud, outside in nature and had so much freedom to use hands. Current parents gives too much restriction to children, so that they try to express when they have a chance. We cannot be upset with the deficiency symptoms that children growth with.

like mal-nutrition in young age leads to vitamin deficiency diseases like night-blindness, curtailing these vital needs of children are later expressed as behavioural problems.

Also in the older generation, children enjoyed playing in vacations and did not have to study or do any extra classes in summer. Now children are burdened with these summer classes that they end up in psychological problems later. Every mind has to have a time for relaxation. Even we adults want a relaxed time from work. Why dont we think that children also need such relaxation? Imagine how we would feel when before finishing one work we are reminded and forced to do another work?

I repeat etc with little louder voice, immediately she responds.
When now you shout, the child out of fear will act like obeying your orders. Next in teen age, they will revolt with full vigor, that parenting then have to seek counseling classes.


oh you started your lecture we parents do not allow normal step by step growth stages of children (body, emotion, organization, awareness etc). Then we try to give them words of commands. No child is going to pay attention to these "lifeless" words (no experiencial energy). They are sick of advice. They look for words of wisdom from experience, love and selftuality.


please visit our uni5 selftual schools when you get a chance, so that you know the Uni5-Selftual way of parenting.

Again dont forget the five needs of a child .

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Last edit: by Uni5.

Correcting children 7 years 2 months ago #1873

@Uni5
Thank you so much.
I am glad I asked you this question

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Page:
  • 1
Moderators: madesh
Time to create page: 0.165 seconds

Joomla! Debug Console

Session

Profile Information

Memory Usage

Database Queries