Fundamental facts in Parenting

We again stress the importance of parenting that " Parenting is to grow one's own inner child through the external child".

Love is the greatest Energy that can transform a child. It should be given at home and at school.

A child should  feel happy both at home and school, if not in one of these places there is no love. Without love, life  is a saltless dish.

Be clear of the objective about the child (please discuss in this link if you wish to know more).

Dont be hasty in teaching the child.  All we need is to understand that the growing child is trying to connect its internal world with the external world through its five sense organs. Five sense organs are the bridge to the both the worlds. Freedom given in the initial stages (birth to age three, most critical, then to age five the next stage and then to age eight, the third critical stage).

1. Music - Play gentle good soothing music, Indian classical , indian instrumental, bhajans slokas, Beethoven, Mozart, christmas carols (any religious chants in Islam, Buddhism, jainism or Judaism). Sound is the first bridge the child uses to connect to the outer world. Hence the quality of the sound shapes the intelligence of the child. Above all this, mother's lullaby is the most sacred music, given with love. Unfortunately modern children hear less when they grow in day care centers. Mother's lullaby music gives confidence and strength in children.

2. Objects - Touch is the next sense. Again mother's touch is very important. That is magical. Next the baby wants to feel the same mother's love in all objects.  Objects are not toys. All different (variety) sensorial objects are the toys children seek. The child wants to feel through touch shapes, sizes, texture and colors through light and also taste. 

    Do not prevent this experience to children in the early age. Too much of hygenic thought have allowed parents preventing children to taste objects. In olden days, children were given herbal toys (toys made from wood of herbs) and so they get both the benefit. Today we give more lead painted toxic plastic toys. 

Kitchen materials that are safe can be given. Allow the child to look, touch, taste or smell objects that are safe. This is the prmary education that can be given. If the materials given to the child allow them to connect to order then the objects will give fantastic intellectual output and emotional balance  in the child. This was understood by the genius Montesorri who devised sensorial materials to help children even from age one.

Visit the Sakthi School to see how simple things make a big change in the children. Please visit to see how teachers behave as ideal parents helping the growth of children.

Pattern method is the most efficient way ( see the Nobel prize winners Richard Feyhnman's own words

3. Give independance and responsibility: Try not to feed the child, when the child starts to know to put food in its mouth. Food may be spilled. Thats okay. Like the child fell during the first baby steps, allow the child to feed itself. Show the child to clean the area and put things in order. Force, scolding instructions, spanking, beating, threatening the child will not bring good results . This will certainly reduce IQ, and instill fear in the child Show unconditional love to the child, which means allow the child to develop naturally. 

4. Play: Allow the child to play as much it needs to. Some children take few years to quench their play thirst. Allow children to play with the five elements of nature in a safe way. 

5. Eating : Try not to feed the child, when the child starts to know to put food in its mouth. Food may be spilled. Thats okay. Like the child fell during the first baby steps, allow the child to feed itself. Show the child to clean the area and put things in order. Allow the child to eat in its own hands and then at a certain age they naturally observe and self use spoon and forks. But in the early stages, allow them to use hands will allow plasticity and dextrity of hands.  Remember Humans evolved when we started to use the hands more than any other animals.

Give them natural food as much possible. See in the infant food section for details.

6. Mother Tongue: Let the child talk the mother tongue and then be exposed to any foreign language. Every language sound has its own sound vibration. The developing brain of the child when grows in the womb is acquanited with the mother's sound and hence has a strong influence on the child's IQ and emotions. All languages are only a means of communication. The child will then respect all languages equally when the parents have this understanding. 

    After the child is comfortable with mother tongue, the child has the ability to pick up even 8 languages at the same time. Very important, is that the parents should not mix up languages while speaking. This will cause confusion in children.

Example we have experience helping a child speak flutently four languages. In four different time periods of the day the child was told that a particular language is spoken and then conveyed. The child at the age of from 2 to 6 picked up all the four languages without any confusion. However if all the four languages were spoken at the same time, and changed without indiciation , the child gets confused.  

Dont praise but appreciate child. Appreciate children for the efforts but not praise and give gifts for the action. Make the child realize that doing the action was reward by itself.

Rewarding in childhood:  Creating and resolving cognitive dissonance can have a powerful impact on students’ motivation for learning.[22] For example, researchers have used the effort justification paradigm to increase students’ enthusiasm for educational activities by offering no external reward for students’ efforts: preschoolers who completed puzzles with the promise of a reward were less interested in the puzzles later, as compared to preschoolers who were offered no reward in the first place.[23] The researchers concluded that students who can attribute their work to an external reward stop working in the absence of that reward, while those who are forced to attribute their work to intrinsic motivation came to find the task genuinely enjoyable.

Some good links

Glenn doman Best Parenting

How to manage your children's behaviour, from babies to teenagers

10 Techniques to Shape Children's Behavior


Why is my child worse at home?

More to come....


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